Cat’s Cradle

Harry Chapin released the album Verities and Balderdash in 1973. This album has nine songs – 44 minutes worth of music.

My dad wouldn’t have ever listened to that album. He was a working widower with two young children to raise, so buying albums was a luxury he simply couldn’t afford. He was also a good Christian, in the height of the Jesus Movement era, and that meant he didn’t listen to non-church music, or for that matter anything that had a drum beat to it.

The first, and most played, track on Chapin’s irreverent album is Cat’s in the Cradle. This song is likely a huge nod to Kurt Vonnegut’s satirical sci-fi novel, Cat’s Cradle, published in 1963. In it, Vonnegut satirizes both religious and scientific institutions, basically stating in a very postmodern sense that truth does not exist. Or maybe, that it doesn’t matter?

For me, the irony in making that assertion is that, in a sense, Vonnegut is still stating a truth – or at least his own perspective of what he thinks to be true. Also, his assertion lines up rather well with a writer from nearly 3,000 years ago, who penned in the book of Ecclesiastes that “Everything is meaningless”, (and that there are really no new ideas). So, Vonnegut wasn’t really saying anything new.

In the novel, the Cat’s Cradle is string art. You know…when someone makes different shapes and configurations out of a loop of string or yarn? Yeah. The basic first pattern many people learn to make is actually called cat’s cradle.

Vonnegut’s book was actually banned by a school board in Ohio in 1972. Is it coincidence that Chapin released a song about it a year later? I think that’s unlikely.

However, there’s also an old Dutch story named The Cat and the Cradle, which is a story of a little orphan girl, and the protection she received from a cat. It also seems very much like “Christian propaganda”. I found it somewhat fascinating, but maybe not something we would read to our children these days. If you want to hear someone read it on YouTube, here’s a link. There’s even a reference to Santa Clause in the story!

But what’s the “silver spoon” line about in Chapin’s song? It’s (simply or maybe not) about the cost of privilege. The song is one of both lament and warning. Chasing after our dreams can be costly. The highest cost of privilege is often relationship, but there can be other costs. And, there are other risks to relationship besides privilege.

Cat’s Cradle, the song, is all about the dysfunctional relationship between a dad and a son. It really resonates with me.

My dad was poor and widowed when I was young. I didn’t see him much. And, what choice did he have? He went to work, I went to daycare. On the weekends, he went to church and I went to childcare. That was how my first six years were. I wish he’d picked up Chapin’s album, or that somewhere along the way someone would’ve taught him the truth of Cat’s in the Cradle.

He just wasn’t really ever there. This turned to mistrust and resentment for me. I wanted a relationship with him, but he was unreliable. Sometimes, he was abusive. I couldn’t risk trusting him.

Later, after he was remarried and all his hard work as a salesman began paying off, my dad took a lot of trips. Sometimes overnight, often just day trips around the area where we lived. They were always business trips. Even when he brought me or the whole family along, he always found a way to include some element of work or stop to visit a client or potential client. I did not enjoy riding with him, but there was a time when he did bring me along frequently. We only talked about what he wanted to talk about and went where he chose to go. This was how he could justify that he was spending time with me.

I drove my dad to a medical appointment yesterday. This was not where he wanted to go, but we still only talked about what he wanted to talk about. I felt the old resentment building as I drove and listened to him talk.

…when ya comin home, dad, I don’t know when…but we’ll get together then…you know we’ll have a good time then…

Oh, and if you haven’t ever listened to Verities and Balderdash, I find it pretty interesting, thoughtful, satirical, sad, intriguing, and funny. I think my favorite song on the album would have to be Six String Orchestra – for the fun of it! I just sent the link to my son – I think he’ll enjoy it. Starting this weekend, I’ll also very much enjoy spending several days with him, my daughter, their spouses, and my wife. No cats (though he has a couple), no cradles (yet), and no silver spoons.